Nobody needs to tell us we're hypocrites; we know it better than they do. During those times, our whole life seems wasted. We wonder if all that's left to us now is "playing out the string"; quietly slipping in heaven's side door without hearing the words we long to hear: "Well done, good and faithful servant. In other words, we're paralyzed by the myth of perfection.

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate (to do), I do. -Romans 7:15

      Like many of you, I'm a closet perfectionist. I frequently find myself not doing something because I can't do it as well as I'd like; or because I can't do it precisely the way I want to do it; or because I can't do it as thoroughly as I'd like to do it. Silly as it seems, I'm often immobilized by the desire to be perfect.

      Christianity is a dangerous faith for perfectionists.

      I used to do the New York Times© Sunday Crossword puzzles in ink each week. My goal was to finish an entire puzzle with no mistakes and no second-chances; everything I wrote down had to be right the first time. So I never wrote an answer down unless I was absolutely certain it was correct. Usually, this meant not finishing the puzzle. In those instances where I did write something down that turned out to be wrong, I threw the entire puzzle away and waited for the next week's attempt.

      Recognize yourself in this story? I used to think it was just a silly idiosyncrasy I could ignore.

      Not so much.

      For a long time, that crossword puzzle was an accurate reflection of my Christian life. Having been saved at a young age, I set a strict standard right away, writing my "story" in ink. Despite the head knowledge I was taught-that salvation is a gift that can't be earned-I seemed determined to prove it could; to somehow make myself worthy of God's grace.

      It takes some of us longer to discover we'll never be worthy of grace. When it hits, though, the realization leaves us feeling miserable. Some of us cope by pretending to deserve it. This only makes us more miserable and usually makes everyone around us miserable, too. Incredibly, we've managed to turn this gift given in love and without restraint into a curse that haunts our every step. Paul seems to be telling our life story in his Romans 7 statement that "the things I wish I did do, I don't; and the things I wish I didn't do, these I keep doing."

      Nobody needs to tell us we're hypocrites; we know it better than they do. During those times, our whole life seems wasted. We wonder if all that's left to us now is "playing out the string"; quietly slipping in heaven's side door without hearing the words we long to hear: "Well done, good and faithful servant. In other words, we're paralyzed by the myth of perfection.

      Sound familiar?

      My "resurrection" comes (again) each time I hear these words from Scripture. (God speaking): "I will take your sins and move them as far as the East is from the West", and (still God speaking) "I will remember them no more." (Here, too)

      Behind those words comes a tsunami of redemptive freedom. Every stumble; every crash; every missed opportunity; every wrong road taken; every sin is swept from the pages of our lives by the unmerited grace of a merciful God. Only love can explain this gift; which, oddly enough, is only available when we acknowledge we need it.

      God is the master of second chances. Faithfulness comes not from trying harder but from drawing closer to Him. When we draw close to Him, He changes us, so even our growing holiness is a gift to us.

      Once we meet Jesus, we are never worthless again.

Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul; if you find it, there is a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off. Do not lie in wait like an outlaw against a righteous man's house, do not raid his dwelling place; for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity. -Proverbs 24:13-16