During a Q-&-A session at a conference several years ago, a woman complained about some of the people I feature in my speeches and devotions. "One of the missionaries you write about died asking God why He let him be tortured for being a Christian. Another one took his own life."  Their crime, in her opinion, was that at the end of their lives, both failed to demonstrate the courage other martyrs had shown.  "While they may have appeared to be worthy of Jesus at some point in their lives," she pointed out, "they were anything but worthy at the end."

 

     Her comments reflect a performance view of faith that sentences Christians to a roller coaster ride of highs and lows in life.  Any suggestion that we must be "worthy" of Jesus erases grace from the equation, and cuts us off from the free-flowing stream of mercy of a loving Father.

 

     Do you find yourself measuring how much God loves you by the circumstances in your life? Are you exhausted by the constant realization that even on your best days you don't deserve God's love or Jesus' sacrifice? Are you worried you might one day lose His love? 

 

     In a fallen world, Christians and non-Christians alike will encounter difficulties, and some will completely overwhelm us, spinning us out of control.  Some of us will get angry with God. Some of us will blame Him for our troubles or accuse Him of being disinterested. Some of us may even say or do things that don't honor God. 

 

     Many, though, just lose hope, growing convinced they simply aren't good enough for God or His promises.  This then often leads to false shame, particularly after some disheartening trial or terrible loss tempts us to believe we're being punished for some unrecognized mistake or sin.  This is when it's important we remember that once we accept the grace of Jesus Christ, God takes control of the relationship with us because we who cannot save ourselves also cannot keep ourselves saved. God does. See Romans 8:38-39.

 

     We may also have moments we wish weren't part of our story: These can cause us to punish ourselves repeatedly by reliving those moments, berating ourselves and losing sight of God's forgiveness and grace.  The apostle Paul, a one-time persecutor of Christians and someone with a "thorn in his flesh" that constantly plagued him, really understood what words we needed to hear when He wrote these from His own journey: 

 

 

     God does promise us His presence in our trials and our foibles, and He keeps that promise even when we think He's gone missing. 

 

     Here then, is comforting truth. Our faith isn't measured by whether we are strong or weak in the face of trials; or by the absence of sin or mistakes in our lives; but rather by our desire to get back up, look back to Jesus, and continue the trek alongside Him in this two-steps forward-one-step back journey to eternity's peace.